Get it off your chest!
Today is world mental health day….
So to speak freely is ok….
I know I should be grateful as my life is now the best…
but to be honest all I want to do is to get this off my chest……
I wake up to noise and busyness of my children getting dressed, my partner getting on with it I can feel her getting stressed, I have the urge to help her….but the urge remains at rest… because I fear if I get up, I may get this off my chest.
……the silence of the busyness is my signal to get up but what’s the point my spirit says “you will only fuck it up”….
I lay there for another hour when the fear begins to rise, without me in this world might be my family’s prize….
I start to feel my heart gain another beat, slowly I stumble, unsteady to my feet…..
Downstairs I sit and gaze….wondering how others do with ease….that which has taken all my strength to achieve….
getting dressed is another thing to do…that simple daily task…why couldn’t I be bothered is something you may ask….. I have no need to dress and brush my hair as normal people do….
I would love to wear the rat race suits and toe the corporate line……but I will settle for a coffee and waste the morning time…..
it’s going past midday and I fear it’s for the best…that I get this thing said to you and get it off my chest…..
My children are my life but still it’s not enough….when you suffer from depression and you supposed to be so tough…..
my partner is the rock on which currently I stand… slipping off the edge trying to grab my hand….
I have never felt so helpless or been in such a desperate place but depression doesn’t show this on my strong and ag’ed face….
Depression is this thing I’ve got and I fight it every day, and pulling up my socks and chin it still won’t go away…
pick up the phone and call someone…..
Let them be their very best
But most of all allow them to get it off their chest!!