What makes some people say im going to “fight like hell” and others say “im giving up”?
I have two people in my life at the moment. One has been told that she has cancer for the second time and the other has been battling alcoholism and drug addiction. Both are devastating illnesses and both if not dealt with can lead to death.
However faced with a second battle with cancer my friend has chosen to say “fuck you Cancer im going to beat you! I am going to fight like hell.” she has made a plan of action and put people and things in place to help her through this phase of her life.
My other friend has chosen to give up. He sat in his room on Sunday evening after a seven-day drinking binge and hacked his wrists with a carving knife. He didn’t die. He had sat in his room alone and feeling helpless. He thought it was the only way out. Now I hear people saying “he was just seeking attention” which is the kind of statement that doesn’t really help much. Maybe he was maybe he wasnt the fact is he took a carving knife to his wrists! He has my attention!
Do we all have the ability to fight what is thrown at us? Do we all have the inner strength of Lance Armstrong or Jane Tomlinson? Are we born with fight or does it develop as we experience hardship in our life?
Is it the sheer magnitude of the task of getting sober that makes my friend give up. If that were true then surely more cancer sufferers would give up as the treatment alone is enough to make people say “no I don’t want to do this.”
I think it is more down to how we see both illnesses. On one hand we see addiction as self-inflicted and self harm. We choose to stereotype these types of people as worthless human beings. People who don’t deserve our help and support.My first attempt at getting treatment left me feeling like I was sub-human.
A cancer patient is treated with respect and deserved humility throughout. From the first to the last moment they are given support not just from medical staff but from friends and family. They are never judged or ridiculed.
Maybe if we can see a way to treat all illness the same and without ill-informed prejudice maybe more people would see fit to “fight like hell”.
Maybe if we took time to speak to people with illness and understand what it makes them feel like inside.
Maybe if we took the time to care about the struggles of other people the world would be a better place.
Live the Life
Tom
Tom Drying Out 